Putting the pieces together
There is beauty all around us … Photo by Sandra Butel
I am Sandra Butel and this is my beautywalk.
At this moment in time beautywalk is about stepping outside of my comfort zone, so that I might learn and grow and evolve as one human being amongst many.
Side by side loungers
Sometimes you have to pull yourself out of the rat race and pause to look around you.
Today, Francis and I are lounging side by side on ‘sea blue’ metal framed loungers under a super sized red beach umbrella gazing out over the wavy blue waters of the Arabian Sea. The red glow of the clay and the deep green of the trees that cling to the South Cliff side of Varkala Beach loom quietly behind us in the background. We recently pulled ourselves out of the colour and chaos of the neverending city that is India for some time on the beach on the South Western coast in the state of Kerala. We are pretty pleased with our past choices and after the past 10 days of lots of action and movement we are relieved to have a few days to stay put in the same place.
Waiting for clarity
My words have been a bit caught up in a freeze frame. With so much going on in any given moment, both inside and outside of my head, I have had little inkling for the effort of pen scratching on paper. I’ve been, I suppose, waiting for clarity; that big aha moment that reveals to me exactly what I am doing here in this country full of contrasts.
Over the last few days it has become increasingly clear to me that this is not the way things work here in this place. There is not going to be a moment anytime in the near future where I have India all figured out. I suppose I will just have to write with all the messiness that is going on and hope that there is some value in the process itself, both for me and for any of you reading this now.
When wishes of “Have a great vacation,” come at me from various sources, my first reaction is, “Hell no, this is no vacation.” A pause to collect my racing thoughts, fed by the nonstop changing nature of reality all around me, and the next thought that comes is,
“It’s not a vacation. It’s a vocation.”
A not quite clearly defined impression tickles my senses, that this country so full of strangeness and contradictions, might just have something profoundly necessary to teach me and that it is my job to figure out just what that is.
Just a suggestion … Photo by Sandra Butel
Puzzling my way through
To pull on my favourite puzzling metaphor, I am a puzzle maker that has no clear idea what our two month journey in India will reveal to me. There is no image printed on the top of the box to give me hints or point me in the right direction, there are simply moments of connecting little bits of understanding together into something that feels recognizable. I have had no major revelations yet as there are so many pieces to match, one to the other; colours and shapes vying for my focused attention.
I do know, however, somewhere deep inside of me, that after 54 years of completing many puzzles (I made my first ones at 3 years old), many without the use of the finished image as a guide, that I am on the right track. The finished product is there ready and waiting to be discovered and all that is needed now is for me to take the time that it takes to put each piece where it fits best.
Bits and pieces
What follows are some collected bits and pieces of what I have pulled together so far:
An orange and purple kite stuck up in a tree.
A woman on a moped dressed all in hot pink, including her helmet.
The soft touch of a little girl’s toes as they brush my hand without pulling away. Grandma mode activated. Hearts warmed. Mother to mother smiles exchanged.
Horns honking. 1 long, 2 short. A language all of its own. I wonder out loud to Francis if they teach it in driver training. He replies, “It would be irresponsible not to.”
A mini truck full of watermelons, piled high in pyramid style. 2 men facing one another, one cutting into the green to reveal the juicy pink fruit with black seeds winking.
Words for welcome and thank you in one language after another knowing I will likely not be able to learn all 22 official languages but trying to retain and offer up these two words when I can.
A note from Bengalaru Traffic Police that resonates deeply as a way to live a life more full of peace: Leave sooner, drive slower, live longer.
A poster on a wall across the street from the latest yummy restaurant where we fill our bodies and our souls - “When ‘i’ is replaced by ‘we’ even illness becomes wellness.”
On the back of a tuktuk in Pondicherry/Puducherry - “Failure is never final.” This strikes me as not exactly the best place for this message as failure here could spell the end of whomever is being carried along in the wave of non stop traffic.
This is unity … Photo by Sandra Butel
Bits and pieces continued …
I find myself less inspired by the temple at Auroville near Pondicherry than a collection of trees that grow in layers with the bottom ones spaced out side by side like pallbearers holding up the precious cargo of the larger, older tree above. The next layer is of new trees that use the wisdom and stored up wealth of years of sun drenched days to poke up in hope of the next generation. This to me is a clear picture of the unity that this non-religious intentional community claims to be working towards.
It occurs to me again and again in tuktuk rides or in the back of a private car that driving in India is like a video game with endless challenges and levels. I am glad for the young drivers who play it so coolly and get themselves (and us) out of what seem like impossible situations again and again.
How many women do I see that ride side-saddle in a sari on the back of a scooter or motorcycle? How many times do I wonder about their safety, searching for evidence that they have something to hold onto
As I enter into a Thirumalai Nayak Palace in Madurai, the columns white and round and smooth call out to me to wrap my arms around them and rest my brow on their cool solidity. In a world where everything is changing in every moment all around me their quiet stability brings peace to my travelling soul.
Of this I am suddenly sure: It is the women who will save us all with their smiles and their care and their singing and dancing. In the end it is our hearts that will save us. We only have to step outside our comfort zones to catch a glimpse of the power of connection that has the power to heal our exhausted human spirits. Singing and dancing where the echo carries the furthest, smiles and laughs and the teaching of arm movements in this, the most humble and joyous of dances.
A selfie requested with a neck wobble or two for me, the rare white lady, with a colourfully dressed smiling family visiting Madurai from Bengalaru.
My heart and eyes are full and I am reminded of the beauty of this humble human life.
“This is India,” and then, “No problem,” when Francis asks where to put the piece of newsprint that has been used to serve up a delicious samosa at a roadside tea shop on our weaving drive from east across to west. A nod towards the ground below where this 26 year old son of a lorry driver with 15 years driving experience has already discarded his.
“No good deed goes unpunished,” from Londoner Janice as she shares her table with us at a beach side restaurant and tells of past efforts she has made to “fix” the “problems” us westerners think we see so clearly upon arrival in India. Like her efforts to install recycling bins, only to have them get stolen in short order. There is a laugh when she adds, “This is India. Don’t try to understand it. It will drive you mad in the process.”
Her final words to us before we part ways are, “If you find yourself caught in the churning of the sea, don’t panic, just wait a minute.” She adds an extra oomph of emphasis as she repeats twice in quick succession, “It WILL let you go. It WILL.” One just has to trust and let go of the struggle.
It is the women who will save us … Photo by Sandra Butel
Being here is not easy
There is such beauty here and part of that beauty comes because being here is not easy. It requires stepping out of our regular comfortable lives and putting ourselves up to the challenge of facing whatever happens to come our way. There are so many moments each day that remind me not only how very privileged I am in my white skinned life, but also how fleeting and precious each of the moments of existence I have been granted happen to be.
Where you put your eyes
If I had to summarize it into something succinct I would say that it is all about where we put our attention. No sooner do I write this than the Sesame Street ditty, “That’s about the size, where you put your eyes, that’s about the size of it,” comes galloping along to greet me, tail wagging in anticipation. They were talking about literal perspective, like how far away an object was from our eyes, but I am a writer and I wish to use it to talk about another kind of perspective instead.
As I recently heard in an interview with Tony Robbins on Steven Bartlett’s podcast ‘Diary of a CEO,’ "You experience the life you focus on.” Like the master coach that he has become, Robbins can’t let us get away without offering a question to ponder. If it is indeed true that your life is created by where you put your attention then he asks you to consider,
“What are YOU going to focus on?”
Yes, what indeed am I going to focus on during my time in India?
The view from here … Photo by Sandra Butel
Be with what is, Sandra
Each day comes with some new challenge; some sharp stab of fear that hits me right in the solar plexus, some inconvenience, some less than ideal conditions, some new bumps in the road that I have to decide how to maneuver. If I can find a way to be with whatever is in front of me, without trying to make it be any different than it actually is then I will have learned the most valuable lesson that I suspect India is doing its utmost to teach me.
I glance out from beneath the shade that has been offered to me at the cloud filled sky and the people filled beach spread out wide and welcoming in front of me. A parasail and rider float high above the waves, a happy face drawn in black on a bright yellow background, a red cheeky tongue gleefully protruding. I am gladdened by the presence of so many Indian people, who according to our new friend Janice, have only recently been given permission to be on this particular beach. It has only been since Covid that the local municipality has allowed them to have access, having chosen to keep the space for the use of foreign tourists instead. There are throngs of people, gathered in groups on the sand with a few brave souls making their way into the water for giggles and exclamations. A sense of communal celebration fills the air and I gather up my courage and make my way out from under my shady comfort to join them.
May you find joy and beauty in between all the challenges and ugliness of your life.
I am Sandra Butel and this is my beautywalk. What’s yours?
Ready to jump right in to the waves … Photo by Sandra Butel
Resources for Further Study and Personal Growth
I am here with my never-ending search for beauty amongst the ugliness, my human heart and my Professional Coach Certification (PCC) from the International Coaching Federation to be of assistance to you in your own journey of finding your own place of equilibrium. I have over 500 hours of experience working with clients and am sure that the time we spend together will bring immense value to us both.
For a free consultation with me all you have to do is book yourself into my calendar. We will spend some time getting to know one another and by the end of the 75 minutes it will be clear if a coaching relationship with me is what is needed in your life right now. There is no pressure here to buy, simply an offer from someone who has been through a whole lot of challenges and come out the other side. A little stronger, a little more humble, a little more ready to lend an ear.
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