All needs met
Enjoying the fruits Photo by Sandra Butel
I am Sandra Butel and this is my beautywalk.
My beautywalk is my perfectly imperfect human voyage. I set off first in this direction and then in that one, unsure of precisely where I am going to end up and determined to keep moving one foot in front of the other with as much softness and love for as long as I am able.
Feeling lucky
I have made a coffee stop between a Sunday morning strength building pilates class with the smiling and strong Noémie and a 90 minute deep tissue massage with the weightlifting built strength of Elizabeth. I am feeling lucky. Lucky that a wonderful selection of strong women like these two are finding their way into my life; each bringing me some comfort and challenge in their own unique and widely divergent ways.
All needs met
The thought of, “All needs met,” is coming up with practiced care as one of the valuable insights I have gotten in the 2nd week of the Living Limbs: Exploring the 8 limbs of Yoga course that I am following with the love and light filled, determined to have a positive impact on the world, Fiji McAlpine. This new practice of pausing in the day to notice moments of easy contentment, taking the time to answer the simple questions of,
Am I safe?
Do I have all I need right now?
Do I have people to love?
Do I have people who love me?”
It has been a delightful discovery to see just how much power there is in taking a few seconds at intervals throughout the day to pause and ask myself if, in this particular moment, on this particular day, all my needs are met. I am surprised by how often the answer is a gentle and easeful yes.
This is not to say that all my worries have floated away, so many helium filled balloons let fly, tails dangling into the vastness of the clear blue sky. Life is still hard at times and my brain still does its best to remind me of all the possible dangers that may be lurking around the next corner. I am still human and still have to work on resisting getting caught up in the worry of the day. I do find that each time I hear the words, “All needs met,” resonating inside the cavern of my mind, I feel a little less burning fear in my chest. I feel a little more grateful for simple moments of contentment sprinkled throughout my days.
All needs met. Photo by Sandra Butel
Centred
One of the newest additions to the chorus of women whose energy is adding so much to the building of my brand new life is Françoise. She leads the Thursday morning meditation and Tai Chi inspired movement session at Le Centre des femmes de Verdun. Her melodic voice and infectious spirit fill every moment of her offerings for the ever shifting small group of women who gather under her care for our weekly Thursday morning practice. I look forward to the moment when I lock up my bike, push open the left hand glass door, remove my shoes and greet whomever has made it to the session that day. After a little chit chat, some flower arranging and plant watering by one of the centre’s dedicated volunteers, the making of a pot of coffee to be shared by all by another, we gather to stand in a circle near the book shelves packed with feminist books of all types and topics.
We start off with an uproarious chorus of sounds; spontaneous shrieks, the calls of animals that we invite into the room to join in on the fun - birds, bears, dogs, cats, donkeys - all the fur family members are present for this ice breaker. We twist and turn and flail our arms. As time goes on I relax into it and realize that in this space, anything goes; there is safety in numbers and this group has been created for that purpose in mind. Making the world a little safer for women and non-binary folks of all ages and sages by giving us a place where we can come and just be with one another.
Raising our voices
My first weeks at the meditation group, I hold my voice back. I am tempted to just follow what the others are doing, but slowly I realize that is not what I am here to do. As the weeks go by I get braver and open up my throat and my arms to whatever energy is ready to come out. I surprise myself sometimes both by the volume and level of what comes out and by the sometimes softer quiet voice that is calling to be heard. There are moments when I let my body movements do the speaking and revel in the expressions of all that is being shared around me, my own voice silent and waiting until there is a particular song that cries out to be sung again.
Hands on
Next up on offer is a series of hand and body movements that never fail to get me solidly present within the confines of my body. Françoise guides us with a gentle yet determined smile on her lips making sure that we all understand clearly what the particular movement is all about. Here I am, part of a circle of spirits that are living out our earthly lives; taking a chance by showing up and revealing a bit more of who we are to the others gathered around us. There is power here. Power to heal a broken heart, power to guide me to the next level of my personal and spiritual development. Each of the movements are imbued with intentionality; designed especially to get us to connect with a deeper sense of who we are.
The signs are all there
There are a few signs on the wall that I notice each time we make our way from our movement practice to our seated visualizations. One translates as, “What is said at the centre stays at the centre” and another, “It’s all in your head,” with an image of two hands holding a pink brain with delicate care while the rays of the sun shine on it to warm it up. These are tangible reminders that I am in the right place; where even the collaged pieces of art on the wall reflect my journey back to me with such accuracy and clarity. Permission is being granted here and I find myself softening into the power of safety and discovery that are being offered here.
Warming up to the idea ... Photo by Sandra Butel
Grounded
Next is my favourite part. This is the 30 to 40 minutes of visualization where the melodious voice of Françoise produces its best magic. She invites us to close our eyes, ground ourselves into our bodies, connect our feet to the floor and imagine deep roots travelling from our feet to the centre of the earth. It amazes me how planted this process makes me feel; how connected I feel to the powerful gifts that are granted to all living creatures by the benevolent and supremely powerful Mother Earth, another female spirit that is opening herself up to me in generosity and love.
I allow myself to relax, focusing on letting go of one body part after the other, the incantation of “Lâchez, lâchez” flowing like sweet surrender from the care of Françoise’s practiced lips. One could translate this as ‘let go’ but for me the inviting rhythm is much closer to ‘release yourself’ or ‘set yourself free’. At least this is what happens to my body and my soul each time this prayer is offered to one and all as we gather together in our mismatched chairs beside the windows that bring light in from the outside in. This is not an order, this is a wish; the deepest type of prayer that all who suffer will find ease and peace and love as they go.
It is slightly different every time but includes some kind of invitation to imagine a series of powerful beams of coloured light. I can’t remember them all right now but I do remember emerald green, pale blue gold, white, opal, magenta, peach, violet and gold. Françoise asks us to imagine these light rays descending from the arms of angels floating in the celestial space just above, filling us up from head to toe with all the qualities that these colours have to offer. Wherever this offering comes from, it does feel otherworldly and leaves me feeling cleansed and relaxed and oh so filled with love.
Everything is awesome … Photo by Sandra Butel
Opening my eyes
How different the world looks to me when I accept Francoise’s final invitation to open up my eyes. I see these women who started off as complete strangers, I notice the shifts in their shoulders and eyes and faces. I sit still and listen to whatever is brought forth in response to our collective experience, curiosity ignited, a sense of there being magic in our midst.
What can I learn from these women?
What can they learn from me?
I shrug my shoulders, noticing the dimples are back into my cheeks, and decide that I will just have to wait and see. For now I am content to be able to whisper quietly to myself the refrain “All needs met”.
I am Sandra Butel and this is my beautywalk. What’s yours?
Connected and reflected Photo Sandra Butel
Resources for Further Study and Personal Growth
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