Penny for your thoughts

beautywalk Sandra Butel coaching thoughts thinking freedom Joseph Nguyen More Joy Positive Intelligence Shirzad Chamine Christalee Froese Pensées

                             Pensées … thoughts    Stock Photo

I am Sandra Butel and this is my beautywalk.

beautywalk is my daily practice of pausing to really take in the beauty that is all around us.

Look at me!

I am sitting on our back balcony at the orange vinyl covered card table that has Butel written in permanent marker on the bottom in my Mom’s schoolteacher handwriting. Birds are singing and chanting to one another around me; sharing their glee as the temperature drops down to a pleasant 17 degrees celsius. The last week’s heatwave has been about tossing and turning, lines of wet as the sweat dripped in each of my nooks and crannies; under the newness of my heavy hairline and down the backs of my knees. 

To my right lies a pile of pruned pansy buds that have lived their best life, shouting proud and full of joy their chant of “Look at me!” and then “No, really, Sandra, LOOK AT ME!” in all of their purple and white and yellow delicate beauty. The French name for these flowers is “Pensées,” which translates as thoughts. As my fingertips break off the dead parts, with their energy sucking properties, I think again of how many ways nature has of reminding us of our true natures. The process of getting rid of the dried up bits is a necessary part of supporting new growth and maximizing the unique beauty the plant has to offer. 


Pinch and release

As I step outside today in my thrift store treasures of a red satin v-lined t-shirt and pin striped elastic waisted deep pocketed easy fitting shorts, I notice the plant there. Only a handful of tiny blossoms are visible, smattered here and there amidst the curly haired mass of green leaves and stalks. I put down my phone and step away from yet another clicked advertisement about the sure fire, easy, and best way to build my coaching business with its promises of “only for today” or “free”. I put down the sense of urgency that has been filling my chest and reflect upon how little these offers have delivered on their lofty sounding promises of big money and redemption. I remind myself once again that I am not in it for big money and that my coaching practice is about service and connection with others.


The task at hand is to drag my fingers through each of the plant's tiny branches, discerning between a bud all rolled up, its promise waiting to unfurl from within, and the shrivelled up husk that has outlived its promise. Steady and true I pinch and release, pinch and release until all that is left is future potential. 


beautywalk Sandra Butel coaching thoughts thinking freedom Joseph Nguyen More Joy Positive Intelligence Shirzad Chamine Christalee Froese Pensées

                               Like being at Grandma’s. Photo by Sandra Butel

Intention

I turn my well-trained eye towards my own life. I remember how the brain works and accept once again that mine is no exception. I place my hands upon the pages of my notebook, giving my pen more purchase to do its thing, my thoughts and observations slowing down enough to be more intentional. I sense a familiar pressure in my chest; that burning sensation that shows up so often in the space that my ribs leave for my diaphragm to dance out its unending rhythm. 


What is it that I am thinking that has created this unease in my center?

What needs to be pruned out and put aside to finish its days as composting goodness that will feed the mind, body and soul of the very precious plant of my own life?

Don’t believe everything you think

I turn my thoughts towards the latest book I am reading. This one came to me from my long time friend and fellow writer, Christalee Froese, who has chosen, “Don’t Believe Everything You Think: Why Thinking is the Beginning and End of Suffering,” by Joseph Nguyen as the topic of focus for this month’s More Joy Challenge. In this slim, focused, expanded edition, Nguyen takes us through his personal journey out of suffering. 

What we hold on to 

perpetuates our reality 

what we let go of

creates new possibilities

Joseph Nguyen

beautywalk Sandra Butel coaching thoughts thinking freedom Joseph Nguyen More Joy Positive Intelligence Shirzad Chamine Christalee Froese Pensées

Pensées (thoughts)

While so much of what Nguyen writes about sounds familiar to me there are a few insights that remind me of the daily struggle that I am having to let go of that which is not serving me. The helpful distinction that Nguyen makes between thoughts and thinking has me right back in the pruning process for my “Pensées”. According to Nguyen, our thoughts are organic reflections of what the present moment is bringing whereas our thinking is the negative judgments that the brain makes about those thoughts. 

Whether it be “bird song” or “sunlight on green leaves” or “empty coffee cup,” our thoughts arise peacefully without interpretation. It is our lizard brain, designed to keep us safe, alive and breathing that jumps in with thinking like, “How annoyingly high pitched the bird song is. A person can never get any peace these days.” Or “That tree really needs pruning. Those neighbors are lazy. How despicable to have such a lack of care for their surroundings. The world is going to hell in a handbasket.” And then there’s, “I have to take the cup inside and wash it. What a drudge it is to have to keep doing these neverending tasks. Life is such a slog.” 

Creative promise

Thoughts bring promise like delicate coloured flowers bursting with beauty and life. Thinking, which is always negative, weighs the plant down with all the dead parts that are no longer beautiful or thriving. This negativity drains all the energy from the plant and leaves it heavy and weighted and struggling to live into its true creative promise. 

How long are you going to keep holding on 

To the story you don’t want to keep reliving?

Joseph Nguyen

beautywalk Sandra Butel coaching thoughts thinking freedom Joseph Nguyen More Joy Positive Intelligence Shirzad Chamine Christalee Froese Pensées

                              Hang on baby, you’ve got this   ...  Photo by Sandra Butel

Positive Intelligence

My studies in Positive Intelligence have given me a deeper understanding of our dualistic brains and what kind of work we can do to fuel the part that leads to growth and development instead of rumination.  On one side of our brain we have the judge and saboteurs and their negative thinking that creates all sorts of painful emotional reactions. On the other side we have our sage brain with its powers of empathy, creativity, value based vision, innovation and laser focused action. In a similar way to Nguyen, Shirzad Chamine, founder of the PQ program, instructs us in practices that will allow us to expose the lies of our thinking and free us up to be more fully present in our lives. 

True freedom

 isn’t in having complete control of our minds

But in the ability to be unattached 

To whatever happens in it.


Joseph Nguyen

Pay attention to your thinking

The premise of both Nguyen’s and Chamine’s work is that the pathway towards less suffering starts with paying attention to your thinking. Whenever you notice that a negative emotion has arisen it is time to pause and to ask yourself what you are thinking. It is time to pause, sense into your body and breath and become as present as you can with what is happening in the moment. This whole process is about letting go. Letting go of believing what your thinking is telling you. Letting go of the pull of going over and over and over how someone else has wronged you. Letting go of being right. Letting go of finding the solution. Letting go of whatever is not serving you in your experience of this exact moment. 

When you settle into your body and you ask yourself what is happening right now, chances are good that in this particular moment you will find that you are all right. When you pause and look around you, often you will find that the danger that your brain has alerted you to is simply not there. Your brain is telling you lies and it is not to be believed. “Don’t Believe Everything You Think,” is exactly what will bring more ease and joy and freedom from the whirl and churn and weight of your negative thoughts.

The path to self-actualization 

Isn’t to try to improve ourselves

Because we think we’re not enough

But to let go of the illusion 

That we’re not already enough as we are.

Joseph Nguyen

beautywalk Sandra Butel coaching thoughts thinking freedom Joseph Nguyen More Joy Positive Intelligence Shirzad Chamine Christalee Froese Pensées

                                  Sun kissed and perfectly imperfect …   Photo by Sandra Butel

Enough, just as we are

As human beings you and I are just as much a part of nature as my potted plant. We are full of potential to bloom bright and precious. It is in the process of carefully tending to the removal of that which holds no vibrancy, that we are able to direct our inner creativity towards our next unfurling of beautiful blossoms. It is in coming back again and again to this process that we are able to see ourselves and our true nature more clearly. It is in remembering who we truly are that we will be more able to truly accept that we have nothing to prove; that we are already enough just as we are.


I am Sandra Butel and this is my beautywalk. What’s yours?

                                               Trust the process     Photo of my Mom by my Dad

Resources for Further Study and Personal Growth

For further insight on how to let go of that which no longer serves you I highly recommend the following resources:

  • Author, journalist, joy movement guide and friend, Christalee Froese offers up workshops and retreats and an active community of others who are searching for the joy in their own lives. I encourage you to pick up her book More Joy and join the More Joy Challenge.

  • Author Joseph Nguyen whose #1 International Bestselling book, Don’t Believe Everything You Think, has been translated into 31 languages offers courses, speaking engagements and insights in his weekly newsletter, Nuggets of Wisdom.

  • I am ready to launch another series of groups for the Positive Intelligence Program. It is a 7 week course that will help you to let go of your negative thinking and find more creativity, more curiosity, more empathy, more focused action and more alignment with your personal values. I will be present as your guide and to answer any questions you may have. For more information check out my coaching programs and testimonials from previous clients.




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